Responding not reacting

Did your Mum ever tell you to count to 10 before you said something angry or unkind? Well, guess what – she was right (us Mums usually are)? It is so easy to react in a negative way. Maybe the person you are talking to has just said something that you totally disagree with or know for certain is untrue…but is your immediate reaction appropriate or helpful? Would it be better to think before you speak?

It will depend on the circumstances and the relationship between you and the “offending” person but, in my view, it’s always better to pause. A few seconds of thought allows you the freedom to choose how you respond. Maybe the person you are talking to is an idiot (and you’ll probably never see them again) but what’s the value of telling them exactly what you think of them?  Generally, when we react we are serving our own ego and may end up in a confrontational situation that will impact others.

When it comes to interactions with our customers, employees and colleagues I think it is always better to respond thoughtfully. Yes you may need to tell them that they are wrong but it will need to be done carefully so that you get the end result you need while preserving the relationship. In my experience the relationship is paramount. For instance, when you have to give a customer bad news, they will normally work with you to resolve the problem if you have built up a good relationship.

So take a deep breath (count to ten if it helps) and proceed carefully…then when you are alone you can scream, swear or otherwise get rid of your negative reaction!

Judith Hanson
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Judith Hanson

Judith is a qualified Clinical Hypnotherapist (DipCHyp, HPD, MNCH), and NLP Master Practitioner and Coach. As a member of the National Council for Hypnotherapy (NCH) and the Complementary and the Natural Healthcare Council (CNHC) she is bound by their Codes of Conduct. She also undertakes regular training, as well as frequent supervision, to update her knowledge and skills, in order to provide a professional and effective service. She treats everyone as an individual and by developing a good relationship, based on mutual respect and trust and always does the best for her clients.

Responding not reacting

by Judith Hanson Time to read: 1 min